Last week, we had a rare, bliss-filled moment as parents. Soren’s mom was coming from Chicago for a visit in just a couple days, but we had a problem: the house was still in a state of post-holiday chaos. So, we called a quick family meeting, and soon after that, we experienced the bliss of 5 children—none of them on screens—working together to get the house ready for their beloved Grammie.  

Okay, so the bliss lasted probably 10 minutes! Ha. That said, we all worked for the better part of two hours, and there were slices of time when things were humming, when the trademark “shared work” of our Household Economy was palpable. And when we say “humming,” here’s what we heard: the vacuum cleaner, washing machine, the broom, and lots of communicating…a symphony of sounds that will lift any parent’s heart!  

While the moment is fresh, we’d like to reverse-engineer this Family chore-time to motivate ourselves and, we hope, you too. Looking back, we see 5 ingredients that went into it: 

1. We all had a good meal and identified goals together. Instead of heading into our chores thoughtlessly, we focused on stoking the necessary good energy—physically and psychologically. We fueled them with protein and got their input and buy-in on what needed to get done before we could welcome Grammie.   

2. Dad and Mom put skin in the game. We were hands-on (but not overly so), visible, and doing tons of communicating. And we did a decent job of resisting the urge to check email or news, since looking at a screen sends the message “If Mom and Dad can vanish online, so can I.”  

3. We all put the screens away. If one of our kids had slipped away to unwind on their Chromebook, it would have been demoralizing to the team. We needed to be in it together—all choosing the one reality of our messy household over the million available virtual realities.   

4. Humor, course-correction, affirmation, breaks, hands-on tutorials, and shoulder-to-shoulder togetherness were all ingredients that went into the chore-time being a success. Seven people working more or less for two hours equals 14 hours—and a lot can happen. One minute can look very different from the next, and we both had to put aside our inbuilt tendency to perfectionism and 24-7 family unity, and deal with moments as they came.   

5. We pushed through frustrations, moods, and little conflicts by directing those moments to God. Like any family, ours sees maybe a dozen skirmishes a day, and family chore-times easily see double that amount. None of us were angels, but by offering it up, praying spontaneously (and yes, desperately) with simple words like “Lord, give me patience,” forgiving quickly, or looking for the best in one another, we all had a productive and satisfying time together. 

[Bonus #6]. You can always promise something sweet when the work is done! 

“Flow” is that state of “deep work” or immersion in activities when we lose track of time, when we’re in the zone. That’s a rare state to achieve in your Household Economy. But you know what, forget it—along with all those Instagram-perfect images of a Sound of Music family breaking into song as they sweep the floors and dust!

Let’s all just put those comparisons aside, and discover the rhythm that the Lord has for our family in this season of life. However choppy or chaotic it seems, it’s still a gift from Him!

This Heaven in Your Home Letter was based on a previous post. To see more ideas for renewing your Household Economy (Level 3 of your Trinity House), check out our posts here and the tools here.