We’ve made quite a few mistakes over the years in our attempts to build Family Culture, Level 4 of a Trinity House. And we hope you can learn from them! But first, a recap.

When the work is done, it’s time to enjoy building up traditions and culture, enjoying free time together based on a solid household economy. On this level, there’s so much to share—feasting and fasting, observing the liturgical year, holidays, nature, pets, sports, music, travel, and other types of leisure pursuits. In family culture, we enjoy and celebrate the communion that God has entrusted to our family.
 
Here are our top 5 mistakes in Family Culture (your list may look different!):
 
5. Too much “media culture” in family culture. The “attention economy”—from social media to Netflix, and everything in between—is constantly vying for your family’s attention and next dopamine rush.
 
We have nothing against family movie night, but large amounts of passive media consumption will never build a strong family culture. In our own family, we’ve seen how cutting corners here—choosing easy screens over healthier traditions and habits—creates a deficit that only kicks the can down the road.
 
Suggestion: Lead a family-wide conversation about the role of media in your Family Culture. Check out “Initiative and Family Culture.”

4. Overdoing it on sports. We love sports and all the great ways that teamwork, togetherness, fitness, friendship, and community can be built through our participation in athletics.  
 
But for so many families, sports has become a case of “too much of a good thing.” As practices and games increase, the family has less time to be together over a family dinner, conversation, and the good things that flow from being under the same roof for large swaths of time. In some cases, sports even encroach on the sacred terrain of the Sabbath.  
 
Suggestion: Do a gut check on the role of sports in your family: “Kids’ Sports: How Much is Too Much?”

3. Short-changing the liturgical calendar. If a stranger stepped into your “domestic church” or Trinity House, would they glimpse that your family lovingly observes the liturgical calendar? Perhaps through a special tradition, meal, image, or devotion that is tied to the Church year? In our busyness and distraction, we’ve missed far too many chances to strengthen our family culture through a feast day, liturgical season, the daily readings, or morning and evening prayer.
 
Suggestion: Ponder how enriching remembering the life of Jesus and the saints can be for your family culture: “Living Liturgically Deepens Family Culture.”  

2. Perfectionism. It’s easy to delay improvements in your Family Culture by saying, “I’ll get to that when…” But we can’t let perfect Family Culture become the enemy of good Family Culture.  
 
Suggestion: Push back against perfectionism! For inspiration, check out our “We’ll Focus on Faith When…”

1. Few meals, quick meals, and distracted meals. As you know from your Heaven in Your Home flowchart (PDF here), the “Key Practice” for Family Culture is the family meal. No other investment in your Family Culture will pay such amazing dividends. Nothing else even comes close. And yet, it’s so easy to skip meals, cut them short, or turn our focus to devices instead of one another’s eyes. Don’t let the devil steal the joy of your family’s daily “mini-Sabbath!” After all the work you’ve done, you deserve this special daily time to celebrate your family’s togetherness, communion, and love.   
 
Suggestion: Refresh your commitment by reading “Family Dinner is the Heart of Family Culture.”
 
Now that we’ve come clean, what’s your family’s top pitfall for building a vibrant and Christ-centered Family Culture (drop us a line at contact@trinityhousecommunity.org)?
 
But wherever you’re at, take heart knowing that our Savior’s overflowing love for us is ever-new, ever-merciful, and abundant! Every family is a construction project. God is at work in the midst of it, and it’s never too late to rebuild, repair, or strengthen your Family Culture.