Apr. 2020, Week 4: Family Culture

by Soren and Ever Johnson

“Ships passing in the night” is how some friends recently described their family life during these days of sheltering at home. This is an easy pattern to slip into—especially now, as we all wear on each other just a bit, some 50 days into this crisis. And it’s also the perfect image to help us focus on our theme for the fourth week of each month: Level 4, or Family Culture.

We’ve been parents for 18 years, but something about quarantine has heightened our awareness of the stark choice we face on a regular basis—between culture-building family togetherness and the “ships in the night” version of family life.

Ships in the night is easy—everyone retreats into solo pursuits (screens?) as they retire to their corners. It’s typified by closed bedroom doors, earbuds, and ample social distance. Here, we cede family leadership to the culture, setting the stage for endless YouTube searches. These distractions can result in a sense of alienation, addiction, or worse.

A survey out earlier this month reported that the average American is streaming 8 hours of video per day in the COVID-19 crisis, which may indicate that “ships in the night” homes are on the rise. But when we choose culture-building instead, we lead our families toward togetherness, bonding, creativity and blessing.

Part of our stay-at-home family schedule is morning and evening prayer. We use the Magnificat devotional booklet, and often stumble through the opening hymn together. But after dinner last week, we broke some new ground musically. We gathered around our piano—an heirloom which belonged to Ever’s great-grandmother—to sing the great hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” With dad on piano, our high school junior on clarinet, and our 7th grader on trumpet, the rest of the family opened up the hymn books and sang. Here’s our homespun recording of the instrumentals.

Let’s just say we’re a long way from the Trapp Family! But the sheer richness of the moment—combining family collaboration with praise, music, laughter, and sure, some exasperation—was a reminder, once again, of the beautiful “road less taken” in family life. Here, a family can reflect the very life of God, with each person available, receptive, and bonded with the others. Here, you are setting the stage for the limitless potential of creative love within your family.

Sure, with togetherness also comes the chance for friction, but it’s worth it. Eye contact, conversation, hugs, meals together, a family walk, a board game…you get the picture. Thankfully, advances in family culture-building are well underway, despite the challenges of Covid-19. “Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?” we sang, “Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.” 
 
When the work and online learning are done, when the chores are done, our family culture—Level 4 of a Trinity House—has a chance to come out and reveal its colors, texture, and richness. Now, during COVID-19—and in the new life we will continue to forge together as we eventually move past this pandemic—we don’t need to let the culture dictate a “ships in the night” lifestyle for our family. Instead, we can choose family togetherness, the very life of God, and so reflect the image we bear.  

“O, what peace we often forfeit,” we sang together the other night, “O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.” 

Don’t Miss…

We have now hosted three livestreams in the COVID-19 era, and each one has been such a blessing. We’ve learned so much from the participants—many of whom are couples, listening together at the end of a long day—and as you can see from the testimonial below, the workshops are bearing fruit. 

Haven’t joined us yet? Consider signing up for one of our upcoming LIVESTREAM opportunities to attend the Heaven In Your Home Workshop: How to Turn a Crisis into a Time of Grace for Your Family & the World: 

• Thu., May 7th, 8-9:30 p.m. ET
• Wed., May 20th, 8-9:30 p.m. ET 

Learn more and register here, and then spread the word by forwarding this email to your friends. A number of participants are hearing about the workshop through Facebook, so consider taking a moment to share the FB event page here.  

Heaven In Your Home Toolkit  

– Great news: You can help the ministry of Trinity House Community by choosing us as your AmazonSmile non-profit recipient. Just go to to your Smile.Amazon.com page, and under “Your Account,” choose “Your Amazon Smile” and select “Trinity House Community” as your recipient. Thank you! 

– Next week, Trinity House Community will join other non-profits for the GiveChoose 2020 Giving Day (May 5th), sponsored by the Community Foundation for Loudoun and Northern Fauquier Counties. Early giving is now open. Will you consider a mid-year gift to Trinity House Community? One supporter emailed us recently, “Honestly, your ministry is more important now than ever.” To make a tax-deductible gift, visit our GiveChoose online profile page here.

– For each of our Heaven in Your Home Workshops, we’ve been offering participants a free holy card of the Trinity icon. Having it in your prayer corner is a beautiful way to keep the lessons of Heaven in Your Home fresh. If you’d like us to put one in the mail to you, just send an email to contact@trinityhousecommunity.org with your mailing address in the body of the email. 

– If you’re near Leesburg and would like a free copy of the May issue of Magnificat, we received several hundred copies from the publisher and have them available on the side porch of Trinity House Cafe (which is still temporarily closed)  in a marked box. Feel free to take copies for your family and friends too!

– In case you missed Pope Francis’ letter which includes a recommendation to pray the Rosary in May, here it is. The letter also includes two suggested additional prayers. 

– As we all turn to online learning, check out Catholic Distance University’s opportunities, including two discounted courses on demand: “Forming Missionary Disciples” and “Introduction to Scripture.”

– Worth a read: Rachael and Dr. Gregory Popcak’s article, “Hey Parents. Tired of ‘Losing It’? Here’s What to Do Instead.” 
 
– To pick up on last week’s topic of gardening (our fencing project is still in progress), here’s some further inspiration: “A coronavirus silver lining: More time at home to tackle garden projects.” 

Ministry Testimonials

– “Thank you for the Heaven In Your Home livestream — it was awesome and much needed! I’m very excited to put ‘welcome, listen, serve’ into practice! With three teens and three little ones, this was just what my husband and I needed to get us back on track and to see how the distractions are leading us away from heaven in our home. Very insightful and wonderful talks. Keep up the great and important work!” Erin Dausch, Leesburg, VA

Please Join Us In Prayer  

We invite you to keep the following needs in prayer:

• For the unemployed, the underemployed, and all those facing difficult financial decisions in these days.
• For all participants of our upcoming and recent workshops, that their family life may be blessed and encouraged in this difficult time.  
• For wisdom for our leaders, as they make decisions about reopening our economy.
• For all senior citizens, doctors, nurses, and essential workers.
• For all families and couples, that this time of trials might also be a time of renewal in their daily journey of faith.