Running late for Mass on a summer Sunday, we piled into a back pew as the opening hymn concluded. Then, as we looked around and got our bearings, we couldn’t help but notice a young mother a couple pews in front of us, sitting with her husband and baby who appeared to be their first child.
Yes, this mom was participating in the Mass. But she was also in absolute sync with her daughter, who went from nursing to being cleaned up, held, offered a toy in the car seat on the pew, and then held again. All through the Mass, the mother and daughter took turns initiating a smile that seemed to almost overtake them. When the mother looked away, the daughter would keep her eyes trained on her mother, expectant.
Then, with the return of the mother’s gaze, the baby’s eyes would light up, almost as if she was seeing her beloved mom after a long absence, and the two would renew their extravagant exchange of glances … complete with the baby cooing, her hands gesticulating up and down. The baby’s wide eyes literally teared up with happiness at her mother’s attention. We could feel our hearts welling up as we watched this tender interplay.
Now—we shudder to even consider it—think about how this sleep-deprived, hard-working, first-time mom could have gone about that hour with regard to her daughter’s needs for milk, tidying, attention, play and touch. She could have phoned it in and most around her would hardly have noticed. She could have met her daughter with a weary face and resorted to function and mechanical efficiency.
Putting aside valid thoughts about the father’s role, the daily struggle to find meaning beyond the grind, and the harsh realities of post-partum depression, let’s just dwell on the win here. Instead of going through the motions, this mother went about her work with love.
As St. Mother Teresa famously said, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” And as St. Therese of Lisieux wrote, “Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest [thing] right and doing it all for love.”
Speaking of mechanical efficiency, with the back-to-school season in full swing, it seems that every parent has to be amazingly focused just to barely keep up: a healthy breakfast, packed lunches, carpools, restoring order, laundry, baby minding, cleaning, dinner planning, family walk and prayer time, homework help … and did we mention your job? It’s a wonder parents get any sleep!
Inspired by our recent encounter with a mom who chose to do small things with great love, let’s pause this week and consider these questions in a time of prayer:
Am I on auto-pilot, crossing things off my to do list as if control of the household is my true goal? Or am I allowing God’s love to flow through me as I use these tasks to love my family?
Before I plunge into the day’s activities, am I spending at least a few minutes in prayer, receiving God’s extravagant love for me so that I have something to give?
Do I accompany seemingly mundane tasks with continued prayer so that I can keep open this channel of His love in the “hidden Nazareth” of my life?
As we reflected on our recent encounter with the loving mother we realized this: the “next task” should have relationship as its goal! Made in the imago Dei, the very image of our Trinitarian God, we are hard-wired for relationship. We are not created to find happiness in a completed to-do list, a pristine home, a manicured lawn, an empty inbox, a flush bank account. These may all be “goods” that the Lord allows us to enjoy, but we cannot forget that they must be at the service of relationship.
As happiness guru Arthur Brooks has said, paraphrasing Blessed and soon-to-be-Saint Fulton Sheen, the world constantly invites us to “love things, use people, and worship yourself.” But the insights of St. Mother Teresa, St. Therese of Lisieux, and our recent encounter with a loving mother all beckon us to a better way: “Use things, love people, and worship the Lord.”
May we parents find a way to take joy in our constant opportunities to do small things with great love!
➤ In “Sharing ‘The Little Way,’ St. Thérèse of Lisieux relics come to Washington,” a Carmelite theologian describes her “Little Way” as essentially about confidence—not in ourselves, but in God’s mercy—and about aspiring to holiness within ordinary circumstances. (OSV News)
➤ The podcast “St. Therese of Lisieux” is a ~33-min intro to her life and “Little Way.” In this conversational episode, hosts unpack how a cloistered 19th-century nun became one of the Church’s most beloved teachers on the Saints Alive Podcast. Her “Little Way” — finding holiness in small, ordinary acts of love—makes for a perfect listen while you fold laundry or drive carpool. (Saints Alive on Spotify)
➤ “What Liturgy Should Look Like in Your Domestic Church” frames ordinary family tasks—washing hair, changing diapers, playing with the kids—as sacramentals when consecrated to Christ. (National Catholic Register)
➤ The video The Secret of Saint Thérèse (51 min) is a documentary weaving her story together with modern people whose lives she’s touched. Watch on Formed.com with a free trial, or check if your parish already has access. (Formed)
➤ Are you a parent, priest, director of religious education, or principal interested in building community among families at your parish or parish school? Discover all the details here, and easily schedule a quick 15-minute discovery call with our team here. Dioceses can benefit from a special offer: three subscriptions for just $999 (or $499/year for your parish). Take the first step toward strengthening community among families at your parish right here!
➤ For those in the Washington, DC area, registration for the conference Together in Holiness is now open! Soren will be giving one of the talks. Engaged and married couples are invited to visit togetherinholiness.org/washington to learn more and register.
➤ We’re hiring! For Heaven in Your Home readers within driving distance of Leesburg, VA, Trinity House Cafe + Market is hiring. We’re looking for a part-time barista (10–20 hours/week) to join the Trinity House Cafe + Market team! If you enjoy serving others, creating a welcoming atmosphere, and being part of a ministry of hospitality, we’d love to hear from you. Learn more and apply here.
“We have been more intentional about times of prayer together as a family, which has helped us to understand our teens’ needs and concerns, since they open up during this time. That is such a blessing.”
— Jodi, Trinity House Community Participant
