Dear Friend,
(To hear this reflection, read by Ever, click below.)
“Hard times create strong people,” a friend of ours shared with his wife and two children at the dinner table last week. “Strong people create comfortable people,” he continued, “and comfortable people create weak people.”
We couldn’t agree more with this friend’s impromptu family meeting reflection. When we shared it with a priest friend of ours, he smiled and said, “That sounds like the life cycle of the people of God in the Old Testament.”
Implicit in our friend’s family meeting is a wake-up call to every family today—especially when it comes to staying focused on the often unexciting daily disciplines of your household economy, level 3 of your Trinity House.
In this time of inflation hitting our household economies on every front, it’s good to step back and get some perspective like this. Most of us are watching how our budgets are stretched thin and have had to cut back on freely driving anywhere we want or on eating out and buying extras.
We all have ample reasons to recognize these as hard times. You don’t need us to tell you that. But as our families confront these hard times, are we as parents leading our children to strength? To strength in Christ? To strength in daily disciplines that lead to the peace of Christ?
Or instead—buffeted with more challenges than we can count—are we slipping into a passivity and distractedness that immerses our families in a kind of low-grade anxiety and fear? And in this state of distraction, are we subtly steering our families toward a goal of material comfort, rather than spiritual strength?
“The fruit of discipline is peace,” one Heaven in Your Home Workshop participant shared with us recently, paraphrasing Hebrews 12:11: “At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.”
Maybe this “hard times” verse can be a motto for our families in this season of life. Maybe this verse can be an invitation to each of us to stay focused on becoming spiritually strong families who humbly accept God’s invitation to discipline in the many systems of our households: from budgeting and meal preparation, to cleaning, yardwork, organizing, and more.
Here are a few practical challenges that our friend’s family meeting has prompted for us:
- How is our family facing these hard times?
- Are we training our focus together on discipline and spiritual strength?
- In family budgeting, meal planning, or cleaning, are we modeling disciplines and habits that in turn lead our family to peace?
- Are we intentionally taking the Sabbath to worship, deepen our family’s spiritual strength, and rest in God’s peace?
- If our family is experiencing material comfort, are we still accepting discipline in order that we can make our time and resources more available to others in need?
We didn’t tell you earlier…but the friend who called the family meeting delivered his “hard times” talk to his 7-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son. When we asked him if he thought they understood his message, he said, “Absolutely!” Their pet rabbit had recently died, and in just the past several years, they’ve attended funerals for three of their beloved grandparents.
It’s never too early—or too late—to call a family meeting, acknowledge the hard times together, and take the next step towards becoming a stronger family through daily disciplines.
The journey to Christ’s strength, joy and peace can begin over dinner tonight.
* * *
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> With our 25 blog posts on Household Economy here, you’ll find more inspiration and tools on this admittedly massive topic. In our post on a “Spirituality of Family Budgeting,” we focus on the role of prayer, healing, and forgiveness in the family budgeting process.
> We’re fans of Mike and Alicia Hernon’s (The Messy Family Project) podcast. Here’s their page with links to conversations like “Catholic Home Management” and “Kids & Money.”
> “How to Create and Maintain a Family Budget” (US News and World Report) offers some helpful basic principles and recommendations, such as “check in frequently” with your spouse. “Once you have a budget in place,” the article suggests, “some people look at it as a game…Reaching your goals is fun.”
> We haven’t read it, but it caught our eye as an example of the helpful resources available for families looking to spend less: A Catholic Guide to Spending Less: Advice from a Debt-Free Family of 16 (Amazon, $16.95).
> RSVP here for this Saturday’s Heaven in Your Home Workshop: How to Build a Flourishing Catholic Household at St. Luke’s in McLean, from 10am – Noon. With an investment of just two hours, you and your spouse will: 1) Be inspired to refocus your family on your ultimate mission, 2) Gain practical tools for how to give your children an immersive experience of the faith in your own home, 3) Be strengthened in your confidence in your God-given vocation as a parent to raise your children in the joy of the faith.
> Mark your calendars for this Saturday, May 21st, at 6:30 pm for our next Heaven in Your Home Gathering at St. John’s in Leesburg, when we’ll welcome special guest Erin Voorheis! With every family grappling with the effects of current inflation, Erin will provide practical guidance in her conversation-starter, “Faithful Family Budgeting & Finances.” Learn more about the Gatherings—a casual evening for the whole family—here, and we hope to see you soon!
“The Heaven in Your Home Gathering was awesome. I really enjoyed the breakout groups and getting a chance to meet more people. My son also really enjoyed the toys. I think these will be valuable community-building events, and will help us make friends with our neighbors.”
– Billy Ellis, Leesburg
