Our kids only get “one shot” at the grade they’re in now.

That almost obvious assertion struck a chord when entrepreneur, Catholic education reformer, and Trinity House friend Mike Ortner made it in a recent conversation — the topic was “How to Save Catholic Schools” — with Dr. Tod Worner on the Word on Fire’s Evangelization & Culture podcast.

Mike, co-author of The Catholic School Playbook, was pressing the urgency of getting things right. “When you realize there’s a problem, you need to do everything you can to fix it as quickly as possible.” He was talking about Catholic schools — but the reality of his words resonates when the subject is home and family life as well. Our kids only get one childhood.    

Ortner learned this the hard way. Now 52, he reflects on a 1980s upbringing with clear eyes: Mass on Sundays, grace before dinner, and not much more. His real awakening didn’t come until his mid-20s, through a few pivotal friendships and a handful of great books. “I’ve been playing a lot of catch-up since then,” the father of six admits.

That realization — that it’s possible for entire generations to be formed in lukewarm faith and far from the great works of literature — became the engine behind Mike’s passion for Catholic education. But he is clear about where renewal begins. He identifies three primary institutions that must work in concert: “If we can get our families, schools, and churches right,” he says, “then all of the stuff happening downstream, by the time we get to the next generation, a lot of this should be cleaned up.”

While Mike’s passion is schools, he insists parents are the first educators of their children, and no school can fully compensate for what is lost at home. At a moment when screens, social media, and overscheduled sports seasons are quietly siphoning away the time needed to build a vibrant family life, his insights arrive with urgency.

Ortner’s fascinating conversation with Tod Worner is worth the investment of time, but here we offer 7 principles drawn from it:

1. Get Your Mission Right

“Every organization needs to be very, very clear about what they’re trying to accomplish, what their mission is, and how they’re going to measure whether they’re accomplishing their mission.”

A school without a clear mission drifts. So does a family. If parents haven’t articulated — even simply — that their home exists to pursue holiness together, to be a domestic church, then the default mission becomes whatever the culture assigns. Define it. Then live it. (Looking for a template? Check out our Heaven in Your Home Flowchart).  

2. Own Your Child’s Formation

“Every parent is the first educator of their child.”

This holds whether your child attends a Catholic school, a public school, or is homeschooled. Ortner doesn’t mince words: “Schools can’t perform miracles. So you can’t expect a child who’s got little to no prayer life at home, who’s playing video games all day, or spending 20 or 30 hours a week playing sports… it’s hard to expect the school to be able to do a great job with that child.” Formation begins at home. Take ownership.

3. Set the Daily Rhythm Deliberately

“It’s up to the mom and dad to set the daily rhythm for the house… to be very deliberate about how you incorporate your prayer life, your liturgical life, [and] limitations you have on whether it’s sports or screen time.”

The culture of a home is set by parents — consciously or not. Every habit, every boundary either serves your family’s mission or quietly undermines it. Deliberateness here isn’t rigidity or parental “authoritarianism,” but rather “authoritative” parenting. It’s love with a plan, with protective boundaries.

4. Cultivate Wonder — and Model It Yourself

“We need to make sure that we create a wonder-cultivating experience instead of a wonder-killing experience.”

Ask the unexpected question at dinner. Pull out a great book. When you model curiosity and reverence — for God, for learning, for the mystery of the world — it is, as Ortner says of great teachers, “infectious.”

5. Run the Seminar at Home

“I could not be a bigger fan of the seminar method. It’s active learning… everyone’s struggling with this to different degrees, and we learn through that.”

The best classrooms feel like shared discovery. So can the best dinner tables. When you stop mid-read-aloud and ask your child, “Why do you think that character just did what he did?” — you are drawing out, not just pouring in. That kind of dialogue builds the intellectual and moral muscles that no amount of passive screen time ever could.

6. Fill Your Home with Great Books

“There are lots of great books at home that kids can get lost in, and they have opportunities to further their intellectual life even outside of school.”

Ortner’s own transformation came through books — from Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov to Augustine’s Confessions. “These are life-changing books when you read them.” As we build an intentional and joy-filled family culture, we need to fill the shelves in our homes with as many great books as possible, lowering the amount of friction between our children and these transformative masterpieces.

7. Act Now — Time Is Not on Your Side

“These students only get one shot at fifth grade… When you realize there’s a problem, you need to do everything you can to fix it as quickly as possible.”

Our child is in the grade they are in right now, exactly once. Screen time and a 20-hour sports week don’t just crowd out free time — they crowd out the slow, deep work of building a family culture rooted in faith, wonder, and love of learning.

Ortner’s awakening happened in his mid-20s. Through people and books, through fellowship and formation, he found what he’d been missing. His hope now is that the next generation won’t have to play catch-up. That begins in a home focused fundamentally on the Lord, and His plan for our learning and development. And it begins now.