It’s that time of year! You know the moment well—rushing around, trying to get the big celebration ready for your loved one’s birthday, baptism, first communion, confirmation, graduation, wedding or other major event.

In May and June, our calendars likely include at least one of these pull-out-the-stops parties for family and friends. And it’s just about everything we can do to get the house in order, the food on the table, and not have a meltdown… Trust us, we’ve been there.

But even though the spread for the big party may look phenomenal, too many of us miss a big Level 4—Family Culture—opportunity at these gatherings. As distracted, harried dads and moms, we often forfeit the chance to properly commemorate the moment.

So here’s what we’d like to propose: a toast. Yes, a special toast to remember the past that brought us to this day, to mark our present gratitude, and to dream a little about our hopes for our loved one’s future.

Here are three steps that have worked for us:

First, check your calendar and schedule a time to craft your toast; invite the Holy Spirit to guide your reflections in advance of writing. Imagine the upcoming celebration: your loved one, the focus of attention, the gathered family and friends, the memories… Invite the Lord to bring to mind your loved one’s faith, character, and accomplishments. Perhaps a particular story will come to mind that encapsulates their unique spirit. Maybe their patron saint, or a particular virtue, or a specific gift of the spirit, will rise to the fore.

Second, when the time to write your toast comes, you’ll hopefully be full of inspiration from your reflections. Jot down some notes for your 1-3-minute toast, and develop a simple outline or written text. Consider adding a prayer for your loved one at the end of your toast. And consider having a copy to give as a keepsake at the end of the event. When future times are tough, a box of such mementos may provide just the consolation and courage your loved one needs.
 
Third, practice your toast. Get comfortable with it. We may not like to stand out, take the microphone, or be perceived as “forcing our values” on anyone. But celebrating your loved one and commemorating important life moments is a big deal. This moment will not repeat itself. A robust Family Culture calls for moments that stand out, where you step towards discomfort or “awkwardness” and ennoble the moment, together with Christ.  
 
“Come, Holy Spirit…” you might pray under your breath as you tap a glass and wait for the guests to grow silent. The moment has arrived for you to publicly celebrate, uplift, and bless your loved one.

One final suggestion: have some Kleenex handy.