Today is our son Owen’s 17^th birthday, but before we get all idealistic, we must admit that in the Great Overwhelm of family life, it’s easy (and understandable) for birthdays to come and go without much foresight, creativity, or depth. Sure, we buy gifts and hold a fun celebration with a special dinner and homemade cake. We’ve had plenty of elaborate birthday parties with classmates too. But have we tried to infuse this yearly marker of our child’s life and developing identity with deeper meaning? Not so much.

We know families who not only celebrate the child’s birthday, but also their “name day,” the feast day of their patron saint. We’ve always admired the name day celebrators, but have never managed to make this wonderful rite our own. But as we pondered how quickly Owen has grown, we realized that when birthdays come and go without much attention to the deeper meaning of our child’s life, we lose an opportunity to build a richer family culture, or Level 4 of our Trinity House.

Usually, our birthday parties follow a predictable pattern of cooking, enjoying appetizers, and setting a celebratory table, followed by eating dinner, card and gift opening, and enjoying cake. We don’t know if we will ever manage name days, but starting with Owen’s birthday today, we plan to at least include reminders and stories about how his life is forever linked to the life of Christ, the Church, and the saints.

Sure, we already remind him of these special facts from time to time, but now we’re seeing how valuable it could be to make a ritual of repeating them more formally on his birthday. Here are some of the things we’ll remind him of:

• Not only was he born during Lent, but also just as our beloved Pope St. John Paul II was dying, so he was born to be someone who brings very sweet consolation to otherwise tough times, and not surprisingly, that is a salient feature of his caring personality.
• Not to further prove that point, but Owen Patrick was named after a beloved uncle who passed away four years before he was born and whose birthday was two days before Owen’s.
• Owen Patrick means “gracious nobleman,” and as Owen is a form of John, the name also evokes the forerunner of Jesus and his beloved disciple. We think he’s every bit up to the meaning of his name!
• Ever’s brother had always loved the proximity of his birthday to the shenanigans of St. Patrick’s Day, and Owen Patrick’s physical resemblance to the Irish side of the family (and his gift of gab!) don’t seem like an accident while all the other kids look like the Dutch and the Swedes.
• Owen happened to be born on the day that the Church celebrates St. Nicholas Owen, a Jesuit lay-brother (and famed maker of hiding places for persecuted priests!) who was martyred in 1606, one of the Forty Martyrs of England and Wales. We pray that Owen will make himself so useful and so bold within the life of the Church!
• For his confirmation, Owen chose the name Nicholas, citing his admiration for the generosity and witness of St. Nicholas of Myra and also the courage and humility of St. Nicholas Owen. Not to mention this was his namesake-uncle’s confirmation name and his confirmation-sponsor uncle’s name as well!
• In the lead-up to Owen’s birth, Bishop Loverde, for whom Soren worked at the time, heard that his due date was March 23rd. Smiling, he said to Soren, “Well, that’s the feast day of St. Turibius of Mogrovejo. Have you considered naming him Turibius?” We tell that story every year, and it always gets a good laugh—along with a big word of thanks from Owen for the fact that we didn’t name him Turibius.  
   

If you take the time to think it through, each child’s birthday (or name day!) falls in a particular place in the Church calendar, in a liturgical season, surrounded by the feast days of numerous saints and various other liturgical and family markers. Calling to mind the season and day of your child’s birth and the name you chose for them and how they are related to the life of Christ and the Church will give your child a strong sense of his or her Christian identity.

Our birthdays and names are sacred. They anchor us in the past. They connect us in amazing ways to the liturgical calendar and our saintly lineage. And they can inspire us on the road to holiness and eternal life with God. So, as we get started on trying to infuse our family culture with greater depth, we hope you’ll join us in creating a place for such a memorial at your child’s upcoming birthday dinner! 
Keep the Lenten ideas and observations coming (contact@trinityhousecommunity.org)! Enjoy the following note from one Letters follower:

• “I think a challenging thing in the 1st few weeks of Lent is to ‘flip the switch’ and remember to take advantage of all the riches the Church offers to aid us on our Lenten journey — such as Stations of the Cross, additional confession times as well as other devotions. As a family, we are attempting to go to Adoration together for at least 15 minutes each week, which has been a little challenging with a young child, but we believe it is something the Lord invited us to do this Lent. As far as something we are learning, I think we are learning about spiritual poverty, and the absolute need to rely on God. When you slip up and break a fast or forget to do one of your Lenten practices, it can be easy to give up. However, we need to trust in God, keep persevering, ask for the graces to fulfill our Lenten practices, and fight the temptations to sin in our lives.”