A friend of ours shared recently that as they raised their 7 children, they frequently greeted guests to their home with a warning: “Caution: This Family Is Under Construction.”
Anyone who has been around a construction site knows how loud and messy they are. Our ministry’s Trinity House Café + Market has been across the street from a major construction site for over a year, and sometimes the pounding and drilling makes the entire café vibrate and shake.
It’s a great image for all of us to keep in mind as we raise our families.
It may seem crazy, but that’s what our homes should be like: a work in progress. Contrast this with what we often think our families should look like: perfect, beautiful, successful, holy… Then we look at our own family, and depending on the day, we may see only the flaws.
In the 2nd week of each month, we turn our attention to the 2nd level of your Trinity House—Person & Relationships. This is the level where we develop our relationships based on the communion we received from the heart of God in Level 1, Faith Life.
So, how are we to square the reality of our construction sites with our ideal, our expectations, our longing? How to live with the “gap” between the two, and not grow discouraged, angry, or withdrawn?
These questions are all the more pressing given the immense challenges of our times in addition to the fact that our homes are naturally constructions sites. External dynamics from our toxic culture seem to only widen the gap between the call to holiness and our families.
Just in the past week, a new survey showed that “half of adults say they’ve experienced a severe mental health crisis in their family,” and 9 in 10 Americans say the country is facing a mental health crisis. All to say, the level 2 priorities of attachment, bonding, and the loving development of our relationships with our spouse and children could not be more urgent.
As we journey through this busy fall with our families, we invite you to consider one of these ways to strengthen the bonds within your home:
1. Thank God for your construction site every day. It’s a gift from Him. Let this gratitude—and not unrealistic expectations—drive the bus.
2. Reflect on Jesus and the disciples and their construction site. Look at how flawed and selfish the disciples were, even after years of living with the Son of God! Meditate on the patience Jesus must have had for them, as they gradually allowed Christ’s strength to be manifest in their weakness.
3. Receive the gift of your construction site. October is the month of Mary’s Rosary, and Mary is all about receiving! God invites us to receive the gift of our spouse and children totally—not just the parts we like. Let’s take a hint from Mary, the first evangelist, and practice her “posture of reception” by spending more and more time with our family, strengthening our loving bonds (yes, which actually reflect the inner life of the Holy Trinity)!
And remember, wear a hard hat!
> “Dear Parents, Be Patient on Your Long Walk Home to Heaven” (NC Register) by Sherry Antonetti offers brief and encouraging words of counsel to parents at each stage of the journey, from those with young children to empty-nesters.
> In “Letters to Parents: The Hardest Thing About Parenting,” Leonard DeLorenzo (OSV News) writes, “The hardest thing about parenting is that who you are matters most. Nothing reveals your character like being called to help bring another human being into life and guide that person into maturity.” Amen.
> In “Patient Realism” by Edmund Adamus (Agape Catholic Ministries), he writes, “All parents go through constant self-doubt that they might not be getting this patient realism right.”
> Is a drive to Manassas, VA doable for you? If so, join us on Tuesday, October 18 as we present the first part of our Heaven in Your Home Workshop at All Saints Catholic School, at 7 pm. Here’s the flyer for this free event that is sure to inspire and equip you as parents. 
> Has Trinity House Cafe + Market blessed you? Join us in this 8th anniversary month by sharing your own Trinity House story or moment with us and other friends of the cafe. Even if it’s just a few words, share your thoughts here at our 8th Anniversary page! We’d love to hear how the Lord has blessed you through the Cafe’s ministry of hospitality.
Enjoy this Trinity House moment shared by a customer:
“Trinity House Cafe is a special place. I’ve been to community meetings there, Bible studies, have met friends for spiritual counsel or deep discussion, have had lunch, dinner, coffee. I’ve been there to listen to music and to play music for others. Leesburg would be a poorer place without Trinity House Cafe.”
> A big word of thanks to Sr. Margaret Kuntz and Chez Filippini of the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee’s Leadership Formation Institute for the chance to give a workshop last Saturday on “Evangelization: Fostering Community the Trinity House Way”! We really enjoyed the chance to reflect with the students on the call to hospitality, and the small yet meaningful ways we can all make a difference….beginning in our own homes and neighborhoods.
> Have you heard of Hallow, the Catholic prayer and meditation app? They have shared a limited number of free one-month subscription cards for guests of Trinity House Cafe + Market, beginning this week. Stop by, pick up a gift card, and try a free month on the app.
“I am looking forward to not only applying the insights (from Soren & Ever’s presentation) by deepening the spiritual environment in my own home, but also expanding the welcoming presence in the religious education program I lead.”
– Samantha Welsh, Director of Religious Education, All Saints Catholic Church, Manassas
