Last Sunday evening, heavy, wet snow was falling, we had nowhere to go, and we already knew that school was cancelled for the next day. Frustration with the endlessness of late February winter aside … what a great moment for family culture as we gathered in the kitchen to make dinner!

We made beef stew with jazz greats on in the background. The kids came in one by one to enjoy the sounds, smells, and company. One son was playing with the cats, our youngest daughter was making brownies for her band, and our oldest daughter was making banana muffins for breakfast the next day. And despite the fact that our kitchen isn’t very large, the five of us enjoyed ourselves immensely.

Eventually, we settled around the table, candles lit and jazz continuing, to enjoy the dinner and more conversation. As we finished eating, the kids made a bid for Magnificat rather than family rosary and we finished up our time in the kitchen with a little evening prayer. Yes, this really happened! And it was darn near perfect.

Of course…caveat, caveat: Our kids are getting older now, we had nowhere else to go, and both of us were participating to make this idyllic scene come together. It’s not every night at our place.  We have plenty of evenings with leftovers and people coming and going like Grand Central Station.

But it did make us think: if this is the heart of family culture—the mini-Sabbath of our daily family meal—how can we have more such moments of enjoying our communion? Here are a few key ingredients (our sermon-to-selves which we share with you):

• Have the vision. People need to eat and families need time together. Knowing these two things, we can intentionally aim for a kitchen and cooking culture that’s a relaxed and nourishing celebration of our family.

• Put aside the time. In order to get this kind of family meal culture, we have to leave the time for it open. That means stopping work in time to be able to slow down and enjoy meal time. It means not having activities to run to every night.

• Foresee the obstacles. It’s quite hard for one parent alone to cook, keep the kitchen in decent shape for the meal, and respond to all the interruptions. So, one way to get the family culture around the meal right is for both parents to be there throughout to turn it into a relaxed but working hangout. It’s amazing what teamwork between parents can bring about for the whole family!

What else is there to say? Once you know you want it, make time for it. Then work together to bring it about. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of the good. Your messy and beautiful family dinner awaits you … perhaps even tonight!