Jan. 2020, Week 4: Family Culture
by Soren and Ever Johnson
Last week, we discussed Level 3 of the Trinity House: Household Economy. On Level 3, each family member puts their unique gifts and collaborative spirit into providing for the family’s basic needs, whether that be in keeping the books, study or work, providing meals, cleaning and organizing, or other basic life tasks.
In the end, Level 3 is where we spend most of our time, hopefully drawing on the rich graces of interpersonal communion from Levels 1 (Faith Life) and 2 (Person & Relationships) to sustain our sense of meaning when the working hours are long. But when the work is done, there can be so much joy when we finally arrive at the fun stuff!
The last week of January brings us to Level 4 of our Trinity House: Family Culture. Once everyone has put in a good day’s work, family culture begins when we sit down to enjoy our common meal. The leisure time to enjoy one another and all the good things of life that begins once the work is done is what we work so hard for all week. Besides enjoying a nourishing meal together, family culture branches out into enjoying music, art, nature, conversation, sports, travel and so on.
So far, we’ve looked at successive levels of our Trinity Houses through the lens of a “cornerstone activity.” The cornerstone activity sets up a framework in which we can start to build out this level of our Trinity House. For Level 1, it’s Keeping the Sabbath. For Level 2, it’s Date Night. For Level 3, it’s the weekly Life Meeting. For Level 4, it’s Family Dinner!
“Kids who have dinner with their families,” summarizes Time magazine, “do better across pretty much every conceivable metric.” We mention this up front because the dinner table is one of the few things everyone can agree on. Everyone. Social science firmly backs up the claim that time invested at the dinner table pays lifelong dividends.
To understand why, we can look to the word “culture,” which comes from the Latin word “cult” meaning “adoration.” As Christopher Carstens explains in “Cult Cultivates Culture,” “cult refers to the various words, actions, or rites which we utilize as we live out our relationship with God; simply put, it’s what or whom we worship.” As Pope Benedict XVI wrote, “Cult exists in order to communicate this vision [of God] in such a way that glory is given to God.” (The Spirit of the Liturgy, 18)
Pivoting to your kitchen or dining room, consider how your table reflects the Eucharistic table, the altar. The heart of the Church is the altar, and the heart of the home is the table where we reverence and give gratitude for the sacrifices that the whole family made so that we would be able to eat, live and give glory to God.
While the average number of meals a family eats together has plummeted by more than 30 percent in the past three decades, your home can be different! By staying faithful to this cornerstone activity — the family meal — you will soon find that a virtuous cycle results. The more quality time you invest at the table (no screens, please), the more time you have to enjoy the communion of your family and the more opportunities you’ll have to integrate the faith into daily circumstances as you discuss today’s news, a run-in on the playground, an A+ on a test, or a friend whose parents are going through a divorce.
Lingering at the table together as a family will propel so many aspects of your family culture. Your traditions and family stories will take root. Your family’s special brand of humor will develop further. In an era starved for face-to-face communication, you will have the chance to teach and model the art of conversation to your children. Hopefully, you’ll have a daily chance to demonstrate the fruits of the spirit. And this is just the beginning!
So while 2020 is still fresh with promise, reflect with your spouse on the “Eucharistic vision” and your own family table. If you’re eating together as a family only twice a week, try setting a February goal of three times per week. If your typical family dinner last 11 minutes (the American average), try increasing that to 20. And enjoy! “For he satisfies the hungry, and fills the hungry with good things” (Ps. 107:9)!
Heaven In Your Home Toolkit
Not convinced of the lifelong impact your family dinner table will have on your children? Check out “The Benefits of the Family Table,” a summary of the social science data, courtesy of the American College of Pediatricians.
Enjoy a column by Soren on family dinners — and how a sense of team can emerge through intentional conversation over dinner.
Listen to this podcast by Mike and Alicia Hernon on “why family dinners are an important part of parenting, why they can be challenging, and some ideas to make your mealtime even better than it is now.”
Don’t Miss…
Heaven In Your Home Workshops: It’s not too late to attend tonight’s workshop at Our Lady of Hope in Potomac Falls, VA, or the upcoming workshop on February 22nd at Precious Blood in Culpeper, VA.
Upcoming diocesan events and opportunities to go deeper in faith, including the annual diocesan Men’s Conference and annual diocesan Women’s Conference.
What Others Are Saying
“You were encouraging, inviting, realistic, and not at all ‘preachy.’ Your use of humor and real-world examples made it all the more interesting.” Heaven in Your Home Workshop Participant
Please Join Us In Prayer
We invite you to keep the following needs in prayer and thanksgiving:
- For all the participants of the upcoming Heaven in Your Home Workshops, that they would be strengthened in their vocations.
- For all parents, as they look at ways to strengthen and encourage their family dinner table traditions.
