Sometimes you have to hit pause and thank God for one who has run the race well—and we’d like to do that as we mourn the passing of a friend, Kevin Brock, at the age of 69, on April 15^th. 

This husband of 42 years and father of nine was many things: a daily Mass-goer, a career FBI agent, a former Assistant Director of Intelligence for the FBI, a fellow parishioner and attendee of Soren’s parish men’s group, and we could go on (full obituary here). 

As his son Matt shared in his eulogy, “Being interrogated by an FBI agent at age 10 is about as fun as it sounds.” That said, Kevin’s fatherly love, devotion, warmth, witness and humor was attested to by his many children and grandchildren—and the many hundreds of others who mourned him last Friday.

Among Kevin’s “dad jokes” was this favorite: “If you see me talking to myself, I’m just getting some expert advice.” Reflecting after Kevin’s funeral—where Soren sat behind long pews filled with FBI agents in a packed-out church—here’s our distillation of Kevin’s expertise:

1. Prioritize Prayer. Kevin said in a men’s group talk several years ago, “It’s all about prayer. Prayer is the humility lubricant of your life that shows God that you’re trusting in Him, that you’re turning to Him, that you admit ‘I can’t solve this problem.’”

2. Seek a “Daily Connection” with Your Spouse. Kevin and his wife, Deborah, began the day praying the Rosary together. This daily touchpoint kept them aligned. As he explained, “We make sure that there’s a daily connection for perspective, for peace. My spiritual life has been augmented by her experiences, and hers has been augmented by mine.” Kevin and his wife also had what they called “The List,” comprised of pages of people they were praying for each morning.

3. Make the Formation of Your Children Your “Singular Goal.” Kevin said, “Our singular goal was to expose our children to the faith as best we can.” He characterized it as a “grace from God” that he and his wife prayed for early in their marriage, and then “cooperated with that grace.” He called raising a faith-filled family “the most heroic thing you can do,” and his professional goals took a back-seat to this overriding purpose.

4. Make Time for “One-on-Ones” and Letters. In his final weeks, Kevin said that one of his favorite things was “one-on-one conversations with my kids.” His son Matt recalled how he also wrote each of them letters. Matt said, “We all experienced and benefited from his individual attention, and it is one of the things I will miss the most. His wisdom and counsel, love and generosity are now memories, but those memories are also instruction manuals.” 

5. Honor St. Joseph and the Blessed Mother. In addition to having a devotion to St. Joseph and praying the Rosary daily, Kevin built a Marian grotto behind his home. Fr. Michael Kelly shared in his homily, “Stepping out to look at the moonlight, Kevin realized it’s a symbol for Mary, and said a prayer.” For Kevin, the “world was composed of signs, all speaking to us about the reality of God.”  

6. Cultivate Friendships. Kevin had a gift for making friends and cultivating friendships, from his elementary school classmates to new friendships much later in life. Whether it was golfing, poker, or reminiscing with FBI friends about their early crime-fighting days, Kevin was rich in friendship.

7. Offer Up Your Suffering. Most people in Kevin’s life didn’t know he had Multiple Myeloma for the past eight years, requiring surgeries and countless rounds of chemo. He shared with Fr. Michael Kelly that he had been “called to be part of Team Suffering.” Matt recalled, “Dad’s fight with cancer was the bravest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” Fr. Kelly continued, “Kevin offered his suffering with Christ, through Christ, and in Christ.” In his final days, Kevin said he would soon place his “small sliver of the cross next to the true cross of Christ, and attach it there.” Just hours after he learned his cancer had taken a terminal turn, he told his wife, “I’ve talked with God and made my peace. I want to set an example for the kids of how to die well.” 

A few weeks before Christmas last year, Soren bumped into Kevin out front of the dry cleaners in town. They talked about sitting down for coffee soon and catching up in the new year. The memory of Kevin’s smile, pausing in the midst of errands, his kindness and interest in others, the quiet and noble way he loved his family and united his suffering with that of his Savior, in prayer for others. We—and so many others—are better for having known him.  

Matt quoted Tennyson at the end of his eulogy, “Tho’ much is taken, much abides… One equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

Amen. So much abides.