Dear Friend,
This week, our family is visiting relatives in New Orleans. On the way down, we pulled off the highway in Milledgeville, Georgia, the hometown of a favorite southern writer, Flannery O’Connor, and attended a weekday Mass at the parish where she worshipped daily.
As we tried to explain to our kids what makes O’Connor so special, we pointed to how, as a fervent Catholic in the Deep South, she inhabited a very particular intersection of a universal faith with a highly local culture. Throw in her gifts of creative writing and of seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary and you can see why her stories and characters are so alive, unique—and yes, downright strange.
O’Connor’s life and Christian witness is a potent reminder of how unique each of God’s people is. The incarnation of Jesus happened at a particular time and place, and similarly, each of us follows Jesus as his disciple in a singular way. Perhaps like an O’Connor story, our lives show how the faith becomes physical, present, and real in a specific life, an unrepeatable moment.
“You shall know the truth,” as O’Connor wrote, “and it will make you odd.” Ha! Amen. The fact that each of us is born in unique circumstances—our moment in history, country, family, birth order, personality type—certainly leads to unique combinations. Just how unique is further determined by our spiritual gifts.
You and I are made in the “image of God,” and so we’re each made to project God’s life-giving creativity in some way. The channels by which God’s life flows through each of us into the world are called charisms or spiritual gifts. The Catechism describes charisms as “graces of the Holy Spirit” given to each believer for the building up of the body of the Church (799). Flannery had a writing charism through which she has touched countless lives. Others of us may have a charism of music, teaching, leading, helping, works of mercy, and the list goes on.
As you know, in the second week of each month, we turn our focus to Level 2 of our Trinity Houses—Person & Relationships. As a member of a family, each of us has the responsibility and pleasure of helping our family members discern and develop God-given spiritual gifts. By putting in the work to develop charisms, we allow God channels through which to burst into the world in all the unique and powerful ways he planned to show his love and reach people.
“Understanding your charisms can make a big difference in family life!” notes the Called and Gifted Program, founded by Sherry Weddell, a prolific author on the topic of charisms. “It can enable you to understand and cherish your spouse’s gifts and help you recognize and nurture the emerging gifts of your children.”
But where to start? How do we discern the presence of a charism, so that we can bring God into the world as we were made to do? There are no easy answers, but we’d suggest three clues that can point in the right direction:
1 | The Presence of Joy
When we channel God’s life into the world—to heal, motivate, create, teach, etc— we often experience joy. Many people describe using their charism as sheer pleasure, a moment when we lose track of time as we operate a gift that seems to come easily. When you receive a grace of the Holy Spirit and in turn build up the family and the Church with it, you can’t help but encounter joy.
2 | Others Report They are Touched or Changed
As we discover and harness the unique spiritual gifts God has for us, we will receive feedback from others which attests to the presence of the gifts. “You ministered to me” or “you blessed me,” you might hear from a friend after you helped them with your gift—for example, of listening, intercessory prayer, encouragement, or service. This kind of feedback will be a signpost—that you are building up the body of Christ through a unique gift of the Holy Spirit.
3 | There’s a Disproportionate Correlation between Effort and Outcome
As you discover the charisms God has given you, you’ll find that in some sense, using your spiritual gifts does not require a lot of effort. Instead, since the Holy Spirit is working through you, you’ll often have the experience of being a channel or instrument of grace. When a charism is in play, the effort may be minimal while the outcome is over the top.
After the Mass at the parish in Milledgeville, we talked with the priest out on the sidewalk. “You’re here on a Flannery O’Connor pilgrimage?” he asked. The question was so fitting. One woman’s “yes” to God still reverberates powerfully today, bringing people down the decades to experience the corner of the earth she called home, perhaps searching for what was behind her strangely compelling voice. Flannery’s “yes” to the unique truth about her life not only set her free, but made her “odd,” inspiring us to reflect on our own answers and our own charisms.
As we visited her grave before leaving town, we saw that many others before us have looked to Flannery’s unique gift. They had left a mountain of pens and coins on her gravestone, noting the effect of her life and gift and what she had given them in the way of vision or encourgament. In the end of our lives, will we be able to say that we used our gifts to bring God, his strength and inspiration, his love, to others?
“Then you shall know the truth,” Jesus tells us, “and the truth shall set you free.”
Heaven in Your Home Toolkit
Curious about spiritual gifts? “How Knowing Your Charisms Can Radically Change Your Life,” an article in Aleteia, is a great place to start.
Here’s a great compilation of sources, including passages from scripture on specific spiritual gifts, courtesy of the Diocese of Lafayette.
We’ve both gotten a better handle on our own spiritual gifts thanks to the Called and Gifted discernment program and Spiritual Gifts Inventory. This FAQ at Sherry Weddell’s St. Catherine of Siena Institute website is a great place to learn more. If you can carve out 40 minutes to hear Sherry’s fuller presentation on charism discernment, check out this video.
In this article on the “Church at Home,” Rachael and Dr. Greg Popcak touch on discovering “your family mission and charism” and the “unique role your family plays in building the Kingdom of God.”
Soren’s column in this week’s Arlington Catholic Herald challenges us to deepen our yearning for Jesus—in his Eucharist and in the body of believers—despite the trials of this season.
Probably not news to you, but now research “reveals the link between godly gratitude and a great relationship”: check out “How Praying for Your Spouse Can Improve Your Marriage” in Psychology Today.
Testimonial
“The Heaven in Your Home Workshop speaks directly to the reality every family is facing today with the uncertainties of the pandemic. Ever and Soren provide needed vision, encouragement and strategies. The workshop was a blessing to us, and it led us to refocus our daily family life more intentionally in light of the image of God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit—we each bear as His children.” – Christian and Darcie Nielsen, Boston, MA
Coming Soon…
Stay tuned…we are looking forward to sharing a schedule of Heaven in Your Home Workshops (livestream and in-person), other speaking engagements, and monthly Heaven in Your Home Gatherings for later this summer and fall.
Please Join Us In Prayer
- For the staff and ministry of Trinity House Cafe, and the recent Heaven in Your Home Workshop participants;
- For all those who mourn the loss of loved ones;
- For the sick, their caregivers, medical personnel, and all essential workers;
- For the unemployed, the underemployed, and all those facing difficult financial decisions in these days;
- For all individuals and families, that they might be open to God’s grace and imbue their homes with faith, love, and the peace of Christ.
In Christ,
Soren & Ever Johnson
Founders & Directors
Trinity House Community
Making Home a Little Taste of Heaven
