Mar. 2020, Week Two: Person & Relationships

by Soren and Ever Johnson

At a recent Heaven in Your Home Workshop, one participant raised her hand and said, “My family has already made all the mistakes. Is there a ‘retrofit’ version of a Trinity House?”

We all laughed, but she was making a great point: no family is perfect. Each struggles with the inheritance of original sin, wounds, and weaknesses. Without grace — and even with grace — each family has its own unique challenges to building healthy relationships. As Tolstoy famously wrote, “Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” 

In the second week of the month, we focus on Person and Relationships. So, let’s look briefly at how knowing our family members’ personality types helps us relate well to them. Building a Trinity House — a home in which we dwell with the Lord — can only happen on the foundation of healthy interpersonal communion. And key to that is knowing the gifts of each family member, so they can be fully appreciated and received.

Every one of us is a uniquely-made child of God, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. No member of our family can be put in a box. That said, we’re all human and there are a few very imporant spectrums on which we all look at the world and operate through life.

Some of us are introverts, while some tend more toward extroversion. Some of us are comfortable basing decisions on hunches, while others lean more toward needing the facts. Some of us are very rational, others more led by feelings. Some are more goal-oriented, some more process-oriented.

There are an infinite number of positions on every spectrum, and no two people are exactly alike, but the existence of these spectrums means some of us are more alike than others. And this fact is extremely helpful in coming to understand our family members.

There are many systems that shed light on personalities. One of the most helpful is the “four temperaments.” Another very helpful one is the Myers-Briggs. Check out the pesonality type quizzes on www.truity.com and www.16personalities.com for two slightly different takes on it.

When family members learn about each other’s personality types, they often go from thinking the other person’s ways are bad or wrong to realizing this is another totally legitimate way of being in the world. And that understanding helps them develop respect for and cooperation with each other. This can be particularly helpful for children who need to build more empathy for their siblings!

Once we have a sense for how each of us operates in the world, relating to each other makes so much more sense that it’s like we finally turned on the lights in our home instead of navigating in the dark. So, as spring nears and we journey more deeply into Lent, try bringing your understanding of each family member’s personality before the Lord in prayer. 

Heaven In Your Home Toolkit  

We love Saint Joseph, and today is the beginning of a nine-day novena to him which will conclude on his feast, March 19th. To receive the novena free via e-mail, visit Pray More Novenas.

On the theme of the “four temperaments,” check out Art and Laraine Bennett’s excellent book on this topic: The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse. 

In her article on “Personality Differences” in marriage, Judy Clark offers helpful suggestions. 

Soren focuses on gratitude and “how to accept help” in his latest Arlington Catholic Herald column.

Don’t Miss…
 
Heaven In Your Home Workshops: Coming to Fredericksburg on the evening of Wed., March 18th! Registration for in-person or via livestream here.  

If you’re near Leesburg, join us on Sat., March 21st, for the launch of our Heaven in Your Home Gatherings. Fr. Thomas Cavanaugh, author of How to Win Friends for Christ, will share a message on building our homes on the love of the Heavenly Father. Following the talk, there will be a time of discussion and a reception. Free childcare is provided. 
 
What Others Are Saying
 
“I find the 5 levels of Heaven in Your Home incredibly helpful. To see it laid out in practical terms is crucial. I’m putting it on our fridge. You should do this for marriage prep!” Heaven in Your Home Workshop Participant 

Please Join Us In Prayer  
 
We invite you to keep the following needs in prayer and thanksgiving: 

• For Trinity House Cafe’s Missionary Program, that the Lord would send young adults to serve the Church and the community of Leesburg. 
• For all the participants of the upcoming Heaven in Your Home Workshop in Fredericksburg, that they would be strengthened in their vocations.
• For all families, that they would seek to truly understand each member in order to increase their interpersonal communion.