Jan. 2020, Week 3: Household Economy

by Soren and Ever Johnson

In a famous winter poem, Thomas Hardy writes of the desolate landscape, “And all mankind that haunted nigh had sought their household fires.” Yes, in the third week of January, the weather makes it easier to dive into tending our household economy!
 
For many of us, mid-winter means rolling up the sleeves on our day-to-day lives after a long break for the holidays. And our daily lives are built on a well-functioning home and family life. Step into any big store and you’ll find that the seasonal section has been stocked with containers, shelves, and storage systems. Now is the time when, cooped up on chilly days, we can focus on home and the many systems that make life possible: personal finances, home improvement, decluttering, deep cleaning, meal planning and exercise, new activities, new semesters and new schedules for a new year. 

Last week, we discussed Level 2: Person and Relationships, and how coming to know your spouse and other family members more deeply helps them develop their unique gifts. So it’s timely that we turn to Level 3: Household Economy, the first and most important arena in which our unique gifts get put into play. In the household economy, we learn to use our gifts to care for one another’s basic needs.

Many important things happen when a family rolls up the sleeves together for shared work. One is that individuals get to develop their unique gifts in ways that will particularly grace the family. The spouse who loves to balance the books can keep the family finances organized; a  son who is a gifted cook can hone his skills in the kitchen and everyone will enjoy the results; a daughter who takes pleasure in cleaning and organizing will make everyone’s life easier and more efficient. It’s so important for the family to help us discover and use our gifts to care for and bring joy to each other.

But there’s another side of work – it’s not all about getting to do what we’re good at and be appreciated for it. We must learn to be functional in areas in which we’re not especially gifted, collaborating with the team to get the next most needed thing done. We have shared work to develop our unique gifts and learn to initiate and take charge of work we’re good at, but also to develop our ability to use limited gifts to help make someone else’s project happen.

When families work together on their common life, everyone learns how to be a team and to play different roles. After all, a Trinity House family aims to live in a way that creates abundance to share with neighbors and friends. That means helping each other with our tasks when a team effort is needed to get the job done.

In our own experience of nearly twenty years of marriage, we have seen time and time again how quickly the pressures and distractions of life pull us away from tending to our household economy. When we’re over-committed and using our home as just a “base” from which to do a lot of activity outside of the home, it shows. Sure, the kids are still doing their homework and practicing their instruments, dad is still mowing the grass and mom is still – sort of – putitng meals on the table, but it’s very easy for shared work to slip away.  Yes, it shows in some visible clutter, but a deeper harm is caused by our family not having quality, productive time together.

“A renewal of family life,” writes Christendom professor John Cuddeback, “will require a renewal of the household, especially as a place of shared work and a center of shared experience and belonging.” Amen. He continues, “We are missing out on truly human living because we fail to live together.” Not being together means not working together. And that means not coming to know one another more deeply, not helping each other grow into our God-given identities, not learning to communicate more lovingly, and not benefiting from the magic that happens when a bunch of people get it done in half the time, creating abundance where there would have been only exhaustion.

So, let’s take advantage of the “bleak mid-winter” to recalibrate our household economy and renew our goal to “live together” as a family in large part through shared work and the sense of belonging, of caring for and being cared for, that it creates. To get started, we have a very practical recommendation. It’s the “cornerstone” activity for Level 3 that we share in our Heaven in Your Home Workshop— namely, the “Life Meeting.” We recommend that if you’re not already doing so, you hold a weekly Life Meeting with your spouse. This is your regular time to get on the same page with regard to the many facets of your household economy — and evaluate the other levels of your Trinity House as well.

Begin your Life Meeting with a short prayer, and then be disciplined about briefly covering key priorities for the upcoming week. Have some fun with it, and be sure to touch on your plans for the Sabbath and date night (the cornerstones of the first two levels of your Trinity House). But then look at the role of shared work: which house projects and chores are the highest priority? Who’s taking the lead and when will they take place? Is the work genuinely shared?

Mid-winter doesn’t need to be bleak. As we return to Ordinary Time in the liturgical calendar, we can invite the Lord to transform what could be a tough season into a hopeful one, a time of establishing a new vision — for our home, our family, and the year ahead. Let’s dream of what we will be able to do to make the world a better place with the abundance that is created by a family that works well together. And then, with Joshua, we will be able to say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15) 

Heaven In Your Home Toolkit  

Read this eye-opening essay by Dr. John Cuddeback — “Reclaiming the Household” in First Things — which spells out a vision for the renewal of shared work in the home.

Listen to this podcast with Mike and Alicia Hernon on the topic of chores.

For a deep dive into what’s at stake in Level 3 of your Trinity House, read Pope St. John Paul II’s “On the Person and Mission of Saint Joseph”, especially part IV on “work as an expression of love.” 

Don’t Miss… This coming Saturday evening at Trinity House Cafe, join artist Andrew de Sa of the Carl Schmitt Foundation as he speaks on “The Universal Call to Artistic Creativity.” Learn more and RSVP for this event co-hosted by Trinity House Community here. In addition to exhibiting his and Carl Schmitt’s work, Andrew will address questions such as “What role does creativity play in our day-to-day life?” and “In what sense are we all called to be artists?” 

Heaven In Your Home Workshop Just 1 Week Away: Are you ready to lead your family to a new level of faith and confidence? Sign up for one of our upcoming workshops, including on January 28th at Our Lady of Hope in Potomac Falls, VA, and a newly-added workshop on February 22nd at Precious Blood in Culpeper, VA.   

What Others Are Saying

“We are already seeing improvements in our day-to-day as we implement the 5 levels! Woohoo!” Heaven in Your Home Workshop Participant

Please Join Us In Prayer  

We invite you to keep the following needs in prayer and thanksgiving: 

• For the two new baristas who joined the Trinity House Cafe staff in the past week.
• For all the participants of the upcoming Heaven in Your Home workshop, that they would be strengthened in their vocations.
• For all families as they consider ways to improve the role of shared work in their homes, that fathers and mothers would be guided by love, wisdom, and courage.