Back to Basics

THComm Blog Photos MAR2022 (Presentation (169))

(To hear this reflection, read by Soren, click below.)

We all know families that have that special “something” that’s hard to put into words…a sense of teamwork, unity, identity, and plain-old fun. It’s inspiring to see a family like this in action, playing music or a sport together, or laughing and telling stories around the table.  
 
What we’re glimpsing in these families is a faith-filled and lively Family Culture—or Level 4 of a Trinity House, our focus in the fourth week of the month. And in our consumerist age of distractions, busy schedules, and anxiety, families that swim against the current and forge their own unique culture seem increasingly rare.  
 
So, in this season of back-to-school, let’s do a brief refresher on how to achieve a vibrant family culture. We all want that special something for our families, but it doesn’t come by accident! Let’s remind ourselves about what’s operating beneath the surface when we see a family whose culture we admire.
 
Not that it’s as easy as it sounds, but when we’re building toward a fulfilling Family Culture at Level 4, there are three steps we need to take first. And those are Levels 1, 2, and 3! All the steps build toward the ultimate goal of family life—to become a unique image of God, the Most Holy Trinity, by gradually building up interpersonal communion and all of the creativity and blessings, for us and others, that come from that!

So, to go back to basics from the Heaven in Your Home Workshop, here are the steps to a flourishing Family Culture:

  • Step One: At Level 1 of our Trinity House, Faith Life, we receive our communion, which provides the basis for our family to grow into a unique image of God, the Most Holy Trinity. We orient our week around this communion by keeping a Holy Sabbath, which deepens the communion that God gives us in the Eucharist for the week ahead. And we keep our home focused on it by tending our Home Altar, which physically calls us back to communion with God and each other in prayer throughout the week.
  • Step Two: In Level 2, Person & Relationships, we strengthen our communion by developing other-centered persons and relationships. We keep our week moving toward communion by observing a weekly Date Night, and we keep our environment oriented on it by seeking out Quiet Places like a walk, car ride, or tuck-in to connect with each family member to build the relationships.
  • Step Three: In Level 3 of our Trinity House, Household Economy, we care for our communion. We hold a weekly Life Meeting between spouses where we organize and commit to the work of the household. And well-kept Workspaces physically support our communion so that we can effectively lead our children in shared work and studies.

In a way, it is very simple how naturally our communion as a family can be received, strengthened, and cared for in Faith Life, Person & Relationships, and Household Economy. And these three steps set the stage for the flowering of Family Culture! A family that draws grace from God, loves well, and works hard, will naturally produce a unique and beautiful family culture, the level at which we celebrate our communion.

Family Culture includes so much: observing the liturgical year as a family, sports, reading, music, holidays, nature, pets, art, travel, and other types of leisure. But don’t be overwhelmed! We start with orienting our day toward communion with the Family Meal, a mini-Sabbath, and our home also points toward it with a beautiful Family Table.

As our families get back to school, let’s give our kids a gift that will last a lifetime. By taking small, daily steps to build a vibrant family culture, we’ll send them into the world with that special “something”—a living awareness that they have received communion from Our Lord, strengthened it, cared for it, and celebrated it with their loved ones. Most importantly, they will have what it takes to arrive at the Crown of a Trinity House, Level 5: Hospitality & Service, at which we share our communion with those outside our family!

Yes, let’s do more than cheer our kids on as they go back to school. Let’s get back to basics as parents in this sacred calling to form our children in the faith!

Thanks to Jennifer Sturgeon, Marriage Enrichment and Ecumenical Ministry Director at Nativity Catholic Church in Burke, Va., who shared what’s working for her family in response to last week’s “Tone-Setting for the First Day of School“! She writes: 

We have a whiteboard by the kitchen that has tasks for each person to complete that day, but I also add encouraging words or something to look forward to. For example, the board today states, ‘Nicholas-empty dishwasher,’ but also has written ‘Mom and Nicholas gym time and Jimmy John’s’ together. This is giving my teenage son and I something to look forward to doing together today. Since my children have been little, my husband and I have taken each child for a ‘special time.’ They get one-on-one time with dad alone or with mom. Tonight, Nicholas will try Jimmy John’s, and then have great quality time with mom together with no interruptions–and we can check in to see how the first week of school is going. At dinner, we also talk about our funny of the day, the low of the day, and the high of the day. Our game-plan is to keep the whiteboard messages and ‘special time’ going. No matter the age and stage of life we are in with children, having fun and being funny is something we all love.” 

> To go deeper, here’s a go-to resource with our previous posts on family culture, including reading, sports, time in the car, vacations, liturgical living, nature, and family walks.  
 
> In case you missed it, here’s our recent 20-min. chat about discernment in daily family life with the USCCB’s podcast, Made for Love. 

> Are you newly married or do you have friends who have recently tied the knot? We can’t wait to join Fr. John Riley, Spiritual Director at the Arlington Diocese’s San Damiano Retreat Center, as guest speakers at the Newly Married Couples Retreat he is leading on Sept 16-18. To learn more, check out this page at the diocesan website.  

Our award-winning Trinity House Cafe + Market in the heart of old town Leesburg is hiring for multiple barista/cook openings! Join our faith-filled, dedicated, and hard-working team, focused on serving our community with excellence. Learn more, apply online, and spread the word. 

“The Heaven in Your Home Workshop is a tremendous testimony to the incredible love and mercy our God has for us, and the importance of looking to the relationship in the Trinity as an example of how to thrive together as families in faith.”

– Stewart and Donna Carroll, Leesburg, VA

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