“My sister Lilly woke up at 4:30 each morning, went to lead the daily Rosary at 6 a.m. at her parish, attended the 6:30 a.m. daily Mass, came back to prepare breakfast for her family, got them off to work and school, and at the end of the day, led the family Rosary.” And she did these things every day without fail and with such peace.
We were speechless. During a memorable visit with Fr. Jose, a priest friend of ours from India, he shared about the life of his recently departed sister. He said he was so edified by her last days in hospice, which though extremely painful, were suffused with joy and peaceful anticipation of meeting the Lord. We were still busy thinking about her day-to-day virtues!
While we never met Lilly, her selflessness struck us as the gold standard we’re aiming for when we speak of “heaven in your home.” The Catechism defines virtue as the “habitual and firm disposition to do good” (1833). Sometimes it feels like 80-90 percent of our lives as parents is spent working on Level 3—Household Economy of our Trinity House, laying down our lives, over and over again, in service to our families.
Dishes. Laundry. Meals. Yardwork. Trash… It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking of our household economy as a monotonous and joyless grind. As we talked about Lilly and our own daily struggles building a “habitual and firm disposition to do good,” we had to acknowledge how easy it is to slip into either an “exasperated” or “robotic” approach to the work of the home.
Faced with the onslaught of tasks and needs, we can opt for the “woe is me” or “I’m sick of this!” reaction. In this exasperated mindset, we either avoid our daily work in the household or do it poorly.
Alternatively, there is the “robotic” attitude of the parent who makes the meals, washes the dishes, and does the laundry, but who doesn’t infuse any of this work with love or cheer. While it’s great to get the work done, such an attitude can create a cold and sterile atmosphere in the home.
How do we avoid the trap of exasperated or robotic attitudes? Here are three challenges for approaching household work that can help us follow in Lilly’s footsteps:
- Cheerful: Think “Lilly” or think about the most joyful parent you’ve ever known. This mother or father is dependent on God’s grace in keeping the family well-supported with good food, a clean house, a consistent prayer life, but especially with the cheerful love with which they accomplish it!
- Patient: As any parent knows, growth can seem slow and arduous. “Love is patient, love is kind” (I Cor. 13:4). As we move about the daily work and routines of our household economy, we can hold fast to the connection between our patience and our love.
- Consistent: We were struck by Lilly’s faithful daily routines, revolving around prayer, worship, and service to her family. “Let us not grow tired of doing good,” we read in Galatians 6:9, “for in due time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up.”
Grace builds on nature, and we can’t flip a switch and change from exasperated or robotic to cheerful, patient, and consistent overnight. But with time, grace, and a lot of humility, we can allow the Lord to strengthen our “habitual and firm disposition to do good” in our homes. And we can gradually become that virtuous and cheerful parent.
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15)!
This reflection is adapted from an earlier post.
> In this EWTN Coming Home Network interview that aired last night, Soren shares about his journey to the Catholic Church. Also, in the last 15 minutes of the interview, he discusses the mission of Trinity House Community and gives a quick tour through the 5 levels of your Trinity House.
> In “6 Steps to a More Peaceful Household” (Catholic Mom), Charisse Tierney writes, “It’s in the little things that we remember to do for our children that we see big results — like peace.”
> “In Defense of Housework” (Institute for Family Studies) by Dr. John Cuddeback claims that “there is something new afoot” in how more families are recognizing that a “richer home life” is integral to “authentic human living.”
> And don’t forget our compilation of other tools for building the Household Economy of your Trinity House.
> Are you interested in seeing Trinity House Community Gatherings (aka Heaven in Your Home Gatherings) at your parish this fall? We’re nearing the official launch of our parish-based model! For $499, any parish will be able to access all the tools needed to host 5 Gatherings for families in 2023-2024, including videos, discussion questions, marketing templates, catechetical resources, ongoing support, and more. Schedule a 20-min. call to learn more! Here’s our Calendly calendar where you can choose a time.
As one couple said, “I think the biggest blessing from our Trinity House Community Gatherings has been the relationships we’ve developed…and having people to more intentionally live our faith with.”
> We’re hiring for a 20-hr/week Development Associate! Check out the position description here. Drop us a line if you’d like to chat about this possibility and learn more!
“A lunch of Velankanni curried chicken salad and an extra-sweet Tolkien latte is really a special treat for me, especially if I have time to eat in. The customer service is welcoming and courteous without fail, and in addition to the excellent food offerings there are many lovely items for gift-giving.”
– Recent Customer, Trinity House Cafe + Market
